i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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