Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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