Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize