i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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