Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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