I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
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i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
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The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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