On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
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My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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