I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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