this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize