White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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