I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize