I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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