I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
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his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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