Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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