why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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