What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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