just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize