So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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