you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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