I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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