If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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