chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize