TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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