People with herpes should wear stickers.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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