Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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