What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize