My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
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And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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