i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
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I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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