I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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