I can text with my tongue
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize