We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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