girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
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He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
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I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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