i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize