Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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