I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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