Betty ford says i'm here all night
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize