That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize