return my video game
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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