They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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