I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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