Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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