He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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