I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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