I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize