I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize