ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
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The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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