I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why didn't you poke me back
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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