where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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