what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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