I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize