And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize