happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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