you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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